5:30 will come early tomorrow morning. That’s what time we are scheduled to be back at the hospital for the final surgical step in the cancer recovery process.
This final surgery has been hard to decide to go forward with. It’s hard to decide to inflect Holly’s body with more scars when the last ones are just now healing. It’s hard to choose to have a surgery that’s not technically necessary, that just finishes the reconstructive process.
That said — we have peace this is what God has for us. I would have thought this surgery would have been easier, that this would be routine by now.
The truth is it’s never easy to step into pain. We are hard-wired to avoid it, and yet Jesus says things like,
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. (Mt 5:3-5)
I keep looking for the verse that says, “Blessed are those that push through,” or “Blessed are those that pretend it doesn’t hurt,” but I can’t find it. Somehow it is blessed to have our spirits be poor, to mourn and be meek.
These last months we’ve been learning that these places of blessing are not things that happen to us, they are things we choose. We have to choose to step into — feel — the pain of life and let it crush us a little bit.
It’s in that crushed place where Jesus meets us in new and fresh ways. It’s there He blesses us with healing from pain, current and old pains all the same.
God has been so very good to us in the pain of cancer and recovery. He has faithfully met us, healed us, and blessed us. Please pray we will continue to let the pain break us to continue in the blessing.